You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Well, I don't know where that leaves you, but I know where I stand. And you ain't woman enough to take my man.


All right, everyone, I haven't written a new House songfic in a while, and then I heard this song, and the idea smacked me upside the head. The song is Patsy Cline's You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man. And it just made perfect sense for the ship. So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! (checks stocking) Nope, not mine!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Allison Cameron smiled proudly as she sat at the bar. In the corner of the smoke filled room, her boyfriend was expertly moving his fingers along the keys of an ebony piano.

She took a sip of her beer and watched him continue to masterfully play the instrument. He looked up at her, and she smiled at him, earning a grin from him. Giving him a thumbs up, she returned to her beer.

A few minutes later, someone sat down on the stool beside her, and Cameron looked up in annoyed surprise.

Stacy Warner ran her hand through her ebony hair, then ordered a drink as she said coolly, "Hello, Dr. Cameron."

"Stacy."

There was a tense moment of silence, and as the bartender sat Stacy's drink in front of her, she began speaking. "Dr. Cameron, I think we should talk."

Cameron's eyebrows quirked in mild interest. "Really? What about?"

"Greg."

"Oh?"

Stacy took a sip of her drink. "He doesn't love you. He never has."

Cameron tilted her head to the side in mild amusement. "Really?"

"Yes. And I think you should break up with him before he leaves you, if you want to save your dignity," she said in a very matter of fact way.

Cameron swallowed a snort and took a drink of her beer. "Of course you do."

"I never stopped loving him, and I know that he still loves me. And I'm going to get him back."

Nearly choking on her drink, Cameron turned her head and looked at the other woman, who had been a source of terrible distress and heartache for her boyfriend. Clearing her throat, she licked her lips and said, "Sorry, Mrs. Warner. Greg and I are together, and I have no intentions of stepping aside for you, or any other woman."

"But-"

"But nothing. You're not woman enough to take my man."

"Your man? Hey-"

"Yes, my man," Cameron snapped, making Stacy flinch.

The other woman regained her composure almost instantly, but not before Cameron saw the fear in her eyes.

_You've come to tell me something _

_You say I ought to know _

_T__hat he don't love me anymore _

_And I'll have to let him go _

_You say you're gonna take him _

_Oh, but I don't think you can _

_Cause you ain't woman enough _

_To take my man_

Stacy's pretty little mouth fell open, and Cameron calmly took another drink while the other woman tried to regain her bearings. "Not woman enough?"

"Look, Mrs. Warner. Woman like you, you know, the Barbie doll type, well, you're a dime a dozen. Men can buy them anywhere."

"Hey, that's not-"

Cameron waved a hand at her to silence her. "For you to get to Greg, I'd have to step aside, and I'm going to stay right where I am."

Stacy's eyes narrowed. "I can take him, and I'm going to."

"Look, that'll be over my dead body," Cameron stated casually. "So get out while you can. Because honey, you're just not woman enough to take my man."

_Women like you, they're a dime a dozen _

_You can buy them anywhere _

_For you to get to him, I'd have to move over _

_And I'm gonna stand right here _

_It'll be over my dead body _

_So get out while you can _

_Cause you ain't woman enough _

_To take my man_

"Greg and I have history. We were together for five years, and he even chose me over you last year," Stacy sneered.

Cameron shrugged. "Sometimes men are caught looking at something they don't need. And he might've taken a second look at you, but he's very in love with me."

"He took more than a second look, sweetie."

Cameron didn't take the bait, much to Stacy's dismay. "I don't know where that leaves you, Stacy, and I'm sorry. But I know where I stand with Greg. And you don't have a snowball's chance in hell with him."

Stacy huffed. "Yeah, right."

"You know I'm right." Another smile curved her lips. "He was never a second choice or an alternate for me. He knows how much I adore him." She leaned closer to Stacy. "And I know just how much he loves me."

"Really?" Stacy challenged.

"Really."

"I know Greg. To him, you're just a quick lay. Something to do when he ran out of options."

"Go ahead and think that all you want, Mrs. Warner," Cameron said, emphasizing Stacy's married surname. "But like I said, I'm the one he goes home with every night." Her voice dropped a little, and a satisfied smile curved her lips. "And I'm the one he makes scream with those beautiful hands."

Stacy's eyes widened, then narrowed in anger, and Cameron returned her attention to her drink.

"Well, he was making me scream for five years," Stacy retorted, and Cameron raised her head again.

"From what I hear, the only screaming you did was when he broke up with you," Cameron said smoothly.

"I- no, that's not..." Stacy sputtered, making Cameron smirk.

_Sometimes a man's caught looking _

_At things that he don't need _

_He took a second look at you _

_But he's in love with me _

_Well, I don't know where that leaves you _

_Oh, but I know where I stand _

_And you ain't woman enough _

_To take my man_

Suddenly Cameron felt a very familiar presence behind her, and a large hand settled possessively on her shoulder.

"What's going on here?" House asked, and Cameron reached up and trailed her fingertips along his hand.

"Nothing. Stacy and I were just having a little woman to woman chat," Cameron explained casually.

"Oh?" He sounded interested. "Did the word threesome come up anywhere in there?"

Cameron rolled her eyes and sent Stacy a pointed look. Then she stood up and turned around, wrapping her arms around House before she claimed his mouth with hers.

House let out a pleased groan and buried his fingers in her long curls, and his other hand rested on her waist and drew her closer against his chest. When they both separated for lack of oxygen, he rested his forehead against hers and grinned. "Yum."

She rolled her eyes and gave his arm a gentle tug. "There's plenty more where that came from, big boy," she purred into his ear, giving his earlobe a playful nip.

"Really? Because I'm wide awake now," he smirked, but she could see the smoldering look in his cerulean eyes.

She kissed him again softly, then turned her head. "Thanks for the talk, Stacy," she grinned, giving the raven haired woman a little wave. "Really appreciated it."

Stacy opened her mouth, but Cameron tossed the bartender a twenty and said to Stacy, "Next round's on me. Good night."

Then she walked away from the bar, knowing that House was right behind her. When they walked out of the building and into the cool night air, House slid his arm possessively around her and squeezed her waist.

"What was that all about, my little Cat Woman?" he asked, pulling her into his side.

She shrugged indifferently and smiled when a snowflake hit the top of her head.

"Nothing, Greg. I just got a little reminder about how some women think they're all that."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. But she wasn't woman enough to do anything about it," she said with a smirk.

"And you are?" he teased.

She turned and framed his face with her hands, then pulled him in for a dizzying, soul searing kiss.

"Guess you are," he finally said when they broke apart.

She just grinned and tucked herself back into his side contently, watching the snowflakes fall in front of them as they walked home.

_Women like you, they're a dime a dozen _

_You can buy them anywhere _

_For you to get to him, I'd have to move over _

_And I'm gonna stand right here _

_It'll be over my dead body _

_So get out while you can _

_Cause you ain't woman enough _

_To take my man_

_No you ain't woman enough _

_To take my man_

The End

A/N: So, I hope ya'll liked that. I loved the idea of sweet, innocent little Allison Cameron basically giving Stacy Warner a verbal beatdown. Sorry all ya'll HouseStacy fans, but if ya'll know anything about me, I do NOT read or write that ship. Nope. My Hameron people, unite! Heheheh. So, please review, everyone, and thanks for reading!


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